Chrysalis
by Vic Woo
Summary: Finally, the butterfly has emerged from its chrysalis... Mikage's life, after his 'graduation' from Ohtori Academy. (Slight AU; hints of MikageMamiya) PG and up.
1. Prologue

Chrysalis

By Vic Woo

Finally, the butterfly has emerged from its chrysalis. | Mikage's life, after his "graduation" from Ohtori Academy. | Alternative Universe. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena, and I never will. Be glad – it wouldn't be half as wonderful as it is now, what with my lack of creativity and all... Plus, only cool kids have their own anime series, and, as it is SO obvious, I have no life, therefore am not cool. Sorry to burst your bubble, because I _know_ you were all expecting me to be this like…prodigy or something. Scripts gathered from duellists.tj Ohtori.Nu. 

**First Utena fanfic.** Yeah, I know; my first project for such a vast, complex, symbolic series should have been much smaller – and originally, it was going to. But things changed.

**I've been writing fanfiction for, I dunno...a few months now.** At the beginning, it was just giving Ren Suu some ideas, beta-reading, and things, but eventually it grew to where I was actually able to survive on my own (gasp of shock and horror, I know)! So yeah, Ren Suu basically disowned me, saying I should get to work on my own stories before she corrupted my momentary career as a fanfic-writer. I don't know whether to take offense or not. Gee, Ren, sure didn't take you long to decide my fanfic career would be short-lived. XD Just joking with ya. I don't know about short lived, but it won't be the most interesting. But let's see how well **Chrysalis** fares before I start contemplating long-term expectations – or lack of them, rather. This is also a rather broad-ranged Alternative Universe. There are many references to Ohtori Academy, as this is Mikage, but they are mere _references_. It's more-so, how much he'd like revenge on Akio, than anything else. But you can interpret this anyway you want! 

**As of this point, 4:00 AM on March 15, 2004,** I have only gotten through the Black Rose Saga/Arc of the Utena series. But, from reading through some Mikage/Nemuro websites, and general Utena information, Mikage/Nemuro "graduating" is the last anyone from Ohtori every saw or heard of him. Of course, that's excluding the fact that Akio erases all memory of Mikage from the student-body. This part annoyed me a bit. As the Utena anime series constantly seems to accomplish – much to the bane of Utena fans' existences, I'm sure – there were many unanswered questions as to how Mikage copes to graduating – does he continue to fall into the fake pretenses he set up for himself, or has Akio truly corrupted him to the point of starting over a new life, with new memories? Has he remained Soji Mikage, or returned to his ways of (Professor) Nemuro? For that to happen, he would still have to be alive of course...and, at my own pet peevish expense, there are no solid facts that prove he is alive, or if he's wasted away. There are theories, and they can be considered, but, since it's Utena, there isn't much solidity.

**Yeah, okay, since I've now taken up a full page of my precious fanfic space…** One last thing: I'll try and make this as wonderfully symbolic as the anime was, but don't count on it. I wouldn't even be able to figure out _half_ the symbolic trappings scattered around in the series if it weren't for the glorious essays explaining them on the internet; and I know you're just the same. Unless…you're the writer of one of those said essays. If you are…please help me.

So! Without further ado, what you've all been waiting for (Pssh! _Yeah right!_ Once you figure out there'll be no refreshments, half of you are going to leave!)

**Chrysalis, Part I** (Yeah, _PARTS_. Scary, isn't it? Might decide to get rid of them, though, if the plot changes just a bit more in my mind and forces me to squish all the chapters together.)

* * *

[Scripts gathered from Ohtori.Nu] Chrysalis: Part I Prologue 

"Ah, _Nemuro-kun_. I was thinking it was about time you called me."

On the receiving end, the earpiece shook, violent tremors induced by Nemuro's trembling running through his veins, his muscles, the plastic of the receiver. He didn't want to listen, but he couldn't hang up – he tried; he wasn't able to.

"M-Mamiya…" The name, it was a sigh, released from between the man's lips. "How many decades…?"

Akio continued to speak, "Yes. The boy called Mamiya that you were keeping with you from your lingering attachment to Tokiko, died a long time ago.**** I exploited the illusion you cherished in your memory so much that you even halted your own time. The period where you hid the possibility in your heart, not growing up, was useful. However, that's all over."

"Mamiya?" Nemuro's voice began at its normal timbre – whispery, though – then soared to a searing treble. Desperation clung to his intonation as he continued to chant the boy's name. "Mamiya!?" He could not get over it. He had come so close to break Utena Tenjou; had come so close. But then... But then Mamiya had spoken to him; spoken directly: had told him he could not win! Had told him that Utena Tenjou would defeat him; she would knock the black rose off his breast – and that would mean ruin. Reduced remains. Remembrance. Recollection. Realization.

And Mamiya had been right. The girl had knocked the rose from his chest, and the petals had formed a cloud, and time had seemed to stand still, for one moment. It was that moment, when the grain of sand was suspended between the sides of the center of the hourglass that linked the two globes together. That glorious moment was gone in the blink of an eye, and the black rose petals blew away spastically, away from each other, joining each other, tearing apart, coming back together, until they were no longer in sight.

His mind had crumbled then, to ruin; the remains less than what one would expect from the man that was once Professor Nemuro. The genius.

He remembered Mamiya, had seen the true Mamiya in his mind's eye, and, as the pain of loss of everything scorched through his body, had hoped it was a delusion. But there was still recollection. And the pictures- the horrid pictures!

It was then that he had realized...

"From now on, the path before you is not prepared," Akio said calmly.

Streaks of white lightning appeared between Nemuro's already pale hands as he gripped the receiver tighter. His eyes widened just a bit, and his breathing came quick and harsh through his nose.

"You, graduate now."

"No! Mamiya—!" Nemuro reached out in the darkened room.

The other end of the line was alive, then clicked when it died.

The man was there one moment, gone the next. A blue uniform remained, but without a body to fill it.

Nemuro was no more.

* * *

Yeah, just a prologue, I know. Damn short, too. ONE PAGE. God, I'm sorry; but it's 5:00 AM now, and I have to go to bed. It's Spring Break though, so for all you readers out there, don't worry, it'll be updated later today. 

**Please review, **tell me what you think. Constructive criticism appreciated. Hell, I don't care if you _flame_ me. As long as you read it! All attention is good attention!

Next Chapter: The beginnings of the new Soji Mikage, in the Outside world, as he makes a new path for _himself_. 


	2. Rush

Chrysalis

By: Vic Woo

Finally, the butterfly has emerged from its chrysalis. | Mikage's life, after his "graduation" from Ohtori Academy. | Alternative Universe. 

Disclaimer: I neither own Utena, nor claim to. It is copyright (©) Be-PaPas, among other people. Only cool kids have their own anime series, and, as stated before: I HAVE NO LIFE, therefore I AM NOT COOL. I'm sort of...lukewarm, you know? ;)

Thank you to all who reviewed!

**Serendipity1**- (First reviewer- do the dance!) My God! It's like we're _related_! Terribly sorry about the mix-up, and I have now realized that one of your stories deals with Mikage (as well as Utena) when they "graduate." Uncanny, but coincidental, I assure you. I'm obsessed with him too! Though, I like to consider myself a mere…devoted fan. ;p Glad you can relate to this rather injurious fixation. Thank you for reviewing!

**X-Bride**- Yey! Mikage/Mamiya fan! I'm glad you're so insistent on reading more, and that you enjoyed it. Don't worry, I'll be sure to be keeping this alive. ;p Thanks for reviewing!

**Fancy**- That occurred to me as well – I thought it was amusing, having another sharing those views as well. Let's just say you won't be disappointed. ;) Much obliged to your review, and quite happy that you will be keeping up with Chrysalis. ^^

Oh, something Ren pointed out to me: the series gave more innuendos to Mikage/Tokiko than it did Mikage/Mamiya; but see, I read all those essays and character studies...plus the symbolizing, and characterization of their relationships and things… To be honest though, when I first saw the Black Rose Saga, it never seemed as though Nemuro was falling for Tokiko, until Mamiya said he'd try and sneak in a good word for Nemuro when he saw her next. Maybe it was because I was so obsessed over the Mikage/Mamiya thing already, though, or maybe because I was watching it at 1:00 AM! There is a bit of "evidence" that would be good to explain my case of Mikage/Mamiya-ism, though.

After Nemuro walked in on Tokiko and Akio in the midst of their passion, the family-like relationship between Tokiko, Mamiya, and Nemuro began to break. He felt betrayed by Tokiko, and perhaps fell back on Mamiya, who was – basically – his escape, though the realization of that comes later to him. I would like to believe it grew to something more – Mikage does have the boy's picture on his desk, after all... – but that might just be the yaoi fan-girl inside of me trying to get free. (Essay backing this up was: "For the Garden Where All Love Ends" by Celeste Goodchild, read at Beyond Pink- http:// www. bunnybeth. com / beyond pink – erase spaces!)

Sorry about the long author's notes again- had to clear that up! Now, on to the chapter!

* * *

Part I – Chapter I: Rush 

The pain of his renewal was unbearable.

Flames not only licked, but blanketed, his flesh, burning away Nemuro – perhaps some of Soji Mikage as well – and everything that had linked him to Ohtori Academy. It was almost unbelievable, how he managed to remain conscious; even if it was all in his mind, or in the second of his two minds that was in the other plane of existence – the realm of still-animation that Ohtori was built upon – the man felt that his restoration would renew his decency of realizing pain. 

Muscles were cramped into a fetal position, knees almost touching his bowed head, as his rigid body contracted: twitching as nerves were destroyed then replenished.

"You, graduate now."

Akio's face appeared in the space between his eyeballs and his eyelids, and Mikage was reminded of Mamiya – the hair, the eyes, the skin tone…

But then he remembered the pictures – switching on him so cruelly – and the vertigo heightened.

"No…Mamiya…I…" He was cut off by his own life rushing back into his comatose body; it was painful. The air was cold and froze his throat as it entered then expanded his lungs glaringly. A gasp, violet-red eyes widening as his body rose slightly off the floor, pulled by a breaking string in his spine, interrupted by a scream as the corpse fell back to the floor and his life was returned.

Energy seemed to course through him, then; as if the adrenaline from the duel with Utena Tenjou had returned. His body was filled with new power, driven by the force of rebirth. But despite all of this energy, which enabled him the strength to walk and talk, and carry on, he could not will himself to do so.

His body, needing wants of his own, drew up the strength, without his own consent it seemed, and headed for warmth – which happened to be at a wall, near a generator of sorts. He leaned into it, gracious, but then recoiled when the piercing heat from the base of the generator burned the back of his shoulder. Claret orbs moved minutely, like a type-writer, as he studied what had so cruelly burned him.

He sat up, something dawning on him – the second time, concerning machinery, but this revelation held more impact...

Carefully, a feather-light touch was applied to the body of the device, which Mikage assumed was a water-heater, then drew it back quickly. He continued to scrutinize the object, the vibrating hum it began to emit as it progressed startling him, but not deterring his train of thought.

After a time, he pressed his hand to the water-heater again, but he kept it there, for as long as he could stand it. When he allowed himself to break away from the machine, he examined his palm, tingling as the air met his almost-sizzling flesh. He clenched his hand closed, his eyes shut tightly, as he ducked his head in what one could call shame.

In a few moments, his gaze returned to the generator, strands of carnation-pink drooping to his neck as he tilted his face upwards – as if to challenge the mighty beast that was a machine, it's cylinder-shaped metal body displaying his reflection in a greenish-blue tint.

"Is this…what I was, Mamiya?" he whispered, voice sounding foreign to his ears. How long had the silence of being conceived again crooned him to sleep? How long had the piercing flames scorched him, inside and out, physically and mentally? How long had there been nothing but seemingly natural incidents, recreating his body – maybe even his existence – to something that would please another king; another persecutor of psyches?

"Did it burn you, as well?"

There were no answers.

Mikage continued to stare at his dim figure, reflected on the machine, before lying back down on the concrete floor, his chest that was facing the water-heater warm, but his back that was facing the rest of the room cold; it never occurred to him that he could be trespassing on private property – for all he knew he was some specimen in a UFO – but if it had, he wouldn't have cared. He had been alienated by Ohtori Academy, and his inside writhed inside him, burning to a pile of simmering ash. 

He didn't try and ponder if he was still in Ohtori, or if he really had "graduated;" all that mattered was to find the maternal womb which had birthed him again – to be the fetus again, protected by a surrounding body. It had been a long time since he had felt Mamiya's skin as so; he had nearly forgotten what it felt like.

 * * *

A slender shaft of light sliced through the thick darkness of the basement of the school as the door at the top of the stairway leading down opened. There were numerous ways to get to the basement – a few ways not even on campus – but only one door to enter the cellar.

The woman took this entranceway, the smart _click, click, click_ of her heels indicating the procession of steps. There was a slight difference in the staccato clack as she stepped off the metal stairwell, and stepped on the concrete that was Kagami School of Fine Arts' foundation.

Like a stereotypical basement, the source of light was at the bottom, though, it was not a single light-bulb: there were many. She stood on her toes, reaching for the ceiling and blindly waving her hand in the assumed general area of the switch. Finally, she located the string, and pulled; brightness deluged the large vault, from rows of long fluorescent lights powered by the single key.

"That's better," she said to herself, finding her place on the sheet tacked to her clipboard, while walking towards the back where the files of her particular case were kept.

The water-heater had been quiet since she had entered, turning off and on periodically like an air-conditioner or water fountain to conserve energy. It switched on as she neared, and she jumped in surprise, heart leaping to her throat. She turned – not familiar with the basement and its inhabitants – then screamed, dropping her clipboard with a large crack as the metal clasp hit the concrete floor.

Mikage woke with a start, a small noise escaping his lips, blinking as he tried to rid himself of his sleep-induced stupor, attempting to gain a sense of composure. He turned, as something behind him fell, and he arched an eyebrow at the woman cowering on the floor near a file cabinet and boxes, trying to calm herself down.

"Wh-who are you? What are you doing sleeping down here?" she demanded, after taking a few depth breaths. A hand was across her chest, over her heart, trying to calm herself.

Recent events flooded his mind, and Mikage did not find her of enough interest to explain them, or try and shuffle through the confusion of the day after his Graduation Ceremony.

He sat himself upright, looking at his hand cradled in his lap – the one he had burnt – and looked for something to wrap it in. It was then he realized he was naked. Obviously the woman had noticed it before him though – which, even Mikage had to admit, was a bit awkward – for she had thrown her large, rather fluffy, shawl over him. 

"Cover yourself up, boy," she ordered, standing and watching him out of the corner of her eye, as she pondered whether a boot was a good enough weapon against what seemed to be a rather youthful, athletic young man.

Mikage complied, getting on his knees and wrapping the shawl around his waist, standing and examining his surroundings for the first time. Almost-lifeless plum eyes landed on the woman, taking in her tall, lithe, buxom figure – as well as her rather eccentric sense of fashion: a long, form-fitting black dress with deep red puffs of…fur…outlining the bottom, sleeves, and neck; maroon platform heels; and an enormous hat with – Mikage felt his legs weaken considerably – burgundy roses around the crown. Brown hair fell down to the eye of her back in waves, curling in a rather messy – but put-together – manner.

"Now, why are you here?" she stipulated again. "Are you a student? What's your name?"

Mikage's eyes widened just slightly, shaking his head as he struggled to stay upright. "No…no longer a student…" he said, arms reaching blindly for something to hold onto.

His elbow bumped against the water-heater, and his skin was once again burned. He winced, stumbling, landing against a file cabinet, hitting his head on the handle.

"Stunning move, Graceful; absolutely stunning," chided the woman sarcastically. "Are you all right?" She kneeled next to him, and Mikage faintly heard her knees crack.

Mikage didn't answer; everything seemed to ache. There was not enough time in a day to sort through the physical attributes of the twinge, as well as the mental.

"You need to go to the infirmary." The woman came to that conclusion, and walked back to the stairwell. She didn't climb; instead, she went beneath. Through his vertigo, Mikage could make out the release of a latch, the dull dial-tone, as a phone was picked up; he could hear her press a few buttons.

Mikage went rigid, found himself close his eyes against the harsh lights.

"Hello, Clinic? Yes, this is Sakurazawa; there's a man about to go absolutely catatonic on me beneath the main building. … The basement, you dimwitted creature." A few more words, and then she hung up. She clicked her way back to him, but by then, Mikage was only half with her…the rest was still trying to make sense of everything.

His hand still hurt.

* * *

Three pages! I think Mikage's a bit out of character, but since I haven't actually been able to "work" on his personality yet, I suggest you overlook it for now. ;p Please review!


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